My thoughts

Life, a little big detour

There once lived a girl who had no idea what she wanted. She didn’t know who she was, what she wanted, or where to find it. After trying several different outlooks and paths she was still very confused. With so many people telling her to do this or like that she had absolutely no idea what she needed or wanted. Should she go with the crowd and be safe, or go against the crowed and end up lost. She didn’t know. She was utterly confused and had no one to turn to. So like a zombie she carried onward.

There once lived a young woman who thought she knew what she wanted. Convinced she knew exactly what she wanted she went after it. Just like any young woman she wanted a family, she wanted love, a partner, she wanted children, and she wanted to be happy. Within all of this she was still trying to find herself. Everything she did was scrutinized; every move, every decision, everything. Everything she wanted she got, all but one thing. She was not happy, she hadn’t been happy for a long time. Not like happy day to day, because she was generally a happy person.. but inside of her she wasn’t happy. Everything she thought she wanted and what she thought would make her happy didn’t. Except her children, and some days were hard with them. Even though she loved them immensely she longed for more, more for them and more for herself.

There once lived a woman who knew exactly what she wanted, but didn’t know how exactly to get it. Throughout the years she had gone through so much growth, inward and outward. She had been through many stages and each stage helped her get to a state of mind where she knew what she wanted in life and in love. Finally she was finding herself, and within finding herself she lost a few. People she knew were toxic for her, others she distanced herself from, because even though they weren’t toxic they still weren’t the best for her. She needed and wanted to surround herself with like minded people. Free spirits, true free spirits, hippies, homesteaders, off grid livers, witches and earth lovers. Those were her people, her tribe. The person she was, the person she longed to be.

There once lived a woman who didn’t know what she wanted or who she was. As that woman grew she learned many lessons. She learned who would accept her for who she was, and who would ultimately judge her for who she was. She learned who she was, and who she wanted to be as she grew older. She even learned who she wanted to surround herself with as the year progressed. So slowly she started the process of just being her, just letting go and being who she wanted. Unapologetically she is finally happy with who she is, she is excited for what her future holds, and who she sees in her future. With every step she takes she gets closer to her dream life.

There once lived a woman with a dream, a dream to live small, to live simply, to live off grid. A dream to live in a tiny home with her children, and a small homesteaders garden. With chickens, goats, and a couple pigs. To live with nature not against it, to learn from it and to love because of it. She was tired of the mainstream world, she had always been tired of it but never knew it. She tried to live in that world but felt so incredibly out of place. She needed to be with nature, to be where the people weren’t. She wasn’t materialistic enough to live in that world of wanting and needing more. She didn’t need anything but love, her children, and nature. She was a hippie at heart, and wanted to live the way she felt. So day by day, month by month she planned and waited for the perfect time to live the way she always dreamed. Until the day her dream became reality. On that day it will be like a release of emotions, finally living the life she longed for.

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